Some say that he owns the largest collection of Beanie Babies in North America, and once drew the Mona Lisa on an Etch-a-Sketch. All I know is that he’s called…Mike Cernovich.

Yes, again – here are the links to more multi-post goodness from your favourite Donald Trump booster and all-round men’s rights nutcase, Mr C himself.

“I and several friends will be attending the RNC in Cleveland, Ohio. It’s going to be the hottest event of the year…”

Oh, no, has the convention centre air-conditioning broken down? Ugh, I’m definitely not going, then…wait, you mean metaphorically hot? Well, I suppose nothing screams “excitement” like spending all day in a massive hall listening to politicians speak about how much they support “the family” and “giving a future to our children!” Not to mention waving a flag whilst listening to The Star Spangled Banner play about five hundred times, interspersed with rubbish bits of classic rock and country  (cause all the good songs were written by card-carrying Democrats). Truly, a can’t-miss event.

“…and perhaps a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

I mean, it’s not as if they have them once every four years or something!

“If you want to roll with me I’m open to that…”

If I ever feel like writing the least-inspiring rap ever, that’ll be the last line of the chorus.

“…as we need to roll deep due to the expected drama and riots.”

“Not that I would ever actually help provoke drama and riots by, you know, turning up with a bunch of pumped-up followers who I’d told to expect drama and riots.” And who feels the need to “roll deep” (American English is, without joking, the best English) in the event of “drama”? “Yeah, Janice and Bob got into a big row at that party, what a drama! Good job I had my posse of knuckleheads with me to beat them both unconscious, that really resolved the situation.”

“OpSec has to be on point as I have many enemies, haters and stalkers. Keyboard warriors need not apply.”

AHAHAHAHAHA, THIS MAN’S SELF-IMPORTANCE KNOWS NO BOUNDS! I can’t speak for Cernovich’s stalkers (weirdos), but as far as I can work out, anyone who you might call one of his “haters” is a nerdy internet person who couldn’t punch their way out of a paper bag and probably doesn’t know one end of a gun from the other, and that includes me. I am middle-aged and currently nursing a bad knee. If I were to suddenly flip out and decide to travel thousands of miles to have a go at a man I’ve never met, the only requirement for “OpSec” would be “Cernovich must be able to jog moderately fast.”

“Rolling with me is also not for the faint of heart, as I will be right in the mix.”

OK, I am going to openly start rapping here – the power of Cernovich compels it!

Rollin’ wit’ me, it ain’t for the faint of heart/Gonna be there, right in the mix/And someone might drop a really smelly fart.”

 “I’ll be walking right up to protesters to talk to them, as I did with a Trump rally.”

“Nothing provocative about getting into confrontations with opponents accompanied by my gang of cronies, right?”

The second post I linked to is mainly there because Cernovich likes to take pot-shots at the traditional media, especially the part he perceives as a bastion of leftism, for its decline as compared to internet “news providers” like himself, but by comparison with the old media his journalistic standards are abysmal. This post claims that the Cleveland police have been issued with a stand-down order without (a) citing a single source for this claim or (b) actually defining what he means by a “stand-down order” (although he clearly implies it amounts to “oh, yeah, just let these lefties have a riot if they want to”). I don’t know if this is true or not, although it sounds pretty unlikely, but the lack of detail means I actually know no more after reading his post than I did before.

It’s easy enough to claim exclusives when you just stick up unattributed assertions as fact. I mean, I’m rather bad for not posting links for news stories I claim have happened (I’m lazy), but then I don’t make claims that my blog’s some kind of reliable news source.

 

 

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