The biggest psychiatric outpatients’ clinic on Earth

I’ll come straight to the point here – if you’re looking for poor excuses for human beings online, just Google any phrase connected with gender, and follow the links. Conversely, not doing is a great way of avoiding them if, like most normal people, you prefer to do that. But I seem to be drawn to the terrible, and there’s nothing like the gender wars for bringing it out. Feminists, men’s rights activists, pick up artists, red-pillers, trans-anything-you-care-to-mention…ers. Every day’s another day for spouting poorly-reasoned bollocks in the biggest psychiatric outpatients’ clinic on Earth,  one where the inmates took over years ago.

A lot of these people have perfected a neat trick, which I draw to your attention as an infallible sign that you are in the presence of a master in the art of talking bollocks – they can make you hate things that (a) you would otherwise sympathise with and (b) they are actually trying to defend. Take, for example, this article by Tracy Clark-Flory in praise of the much-maligned beta male:-


The whole aim of the article is to make her husband not look like a pathetic wimp under the thumb of his wife. Its basic problem is that it makes him sound like just that. What kind of adult, male or female, is moved to tears by Disney cartoons about princesses? Or chooses to camp at “an activist trans farm in Tennessee” (where presumably they keep men who are convinced they are women locked up in a coop in the hope that they might lay eggs)? Or puts smiley faces in their work e-mails as a half-arsed way of defusing tension? And – most damning of all – cheerfully lets their significant other reveal this all to the world?

A man-child who’s clearly put years into rolling over on his back so that feminists will tickle his tummy, that’s who. All the emotional sensitivity and cookery skills in the world can’t save your reputation from that kind of revelation. I would have thought more of Mr Clark-Flory if the article had been about his farting habits and detailed his joy at reserving his loudest and eggiest guffs for weddings, funerals and crowded lifts (actually, I’d have thought much more of him).

However, this is just beginners’ stuff. There are far worse loonies out there roaming the gender battlefield. Behold the mighty works of Chateau Heartiste:-


As a male, white, European who is not in the habit of apologising for any of those things, I would still say that Chateau Heartiste’s blog makes me hate white European men a lot more than anything posted on tumblr ever could and if (God forbid) Western civilisation is ever overrun by ISIS-like Muslim fundamentalists, I would say that the one bright spot in the situation will be that he’ll probably be high up the list of people to be executed. When not being a racist dickhead, Shit O’Fartiste presents himself as an expert on “Game.”

That’s what young Americans (cue David Bowie) call the art of attracting the opposite sex, and since as far as I can tell they nicked the term from black people, it’s pretty ironic that a man so devoted to bigotry should regard himself as some kind of grand master of the art. His basic theory seems to boil down to “treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen”, which will always work for and with some people, with a thick coating of misogyny and general unpleasantness.

Needless to say, his blog doesn’t include photos of all ex-girlfriends plus signed testimonials of his sexual prowess from them. Nor does mine (I must work on that), but then I’m not trying to convince you that I’ve got the secrets of seduction at my fingertips. Chateau d’If is just lucky that consumer protection legislation hasn’t reached the field of dating advice yet.




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1 Response to The biggest psychiatric outpatients’ clinic on Earth

  1. Pingback: Alpha males | James's space

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